I'll be missing you

Well Roderick is home from his two week training course in Virginia/North Carolina with a sweet as tan! (And no, that is not a spelling error.) He had a good time, but what man wouldn't when he spent his days shooting guns and playing paint ball? Lucky duck.

I had my first minor meltdown the other night when he informed me that we'd most likely have to say goodbye to the animals in two weeks time. Two weeks? That's far too soon. I was hoping we'd say goodbye the night before we left, even though I know that's not realistic. But two weeks? It just broke my heart to think that I may only have two weeks left with them, and what if I never see them again? I know I shouldn't think like that, but it's true. What if something happens to me? Or them? Cougar is getting up there, he's 10 years old now. If we stay in Pakistan for four years, he'd be 14. And while Fawkes and Mya are both still young, anything could happen. Honestly, I don't know how I am going to do this. They are my babies and this is going to be the hardest thing I've ever done.

In saying that, I hope nobody takes that the wrong way. Of course it's going to be difficult to say goodbye to all of you, especially my parents and my siblings, but I've done this before. I moved to Holland. I moved to Ottawa. And while Ottawa really isn't that far away, I only go home every 3-6 months for a couple of days, spending only a few hours with everyone. Nobody ever calls me, and while I try to call people every once in awhile, sometimes life gets in the way and I just never get around to it. Whereas when I lived in Holland, I made sure to call every week or two. So it's almost a guarantee that I'll talk to my family more when I live in Pakistan, than I do now. Sad to say, but it's true.

Anyway, back to the point... I already know what it's like to leave my family behind. But I have no idea what it's like to leave my babies, my animals. They are always here for me, no matter what. I take Mya for 1-2 walks everyday, she keeps me busy and I love spending time with her at the dog park or just wandering around base. And Fawkes and Cougar are such cuddle bugs, if I'm having a bad day I know they'll be there to snuggle up with and watch a movie.

Yep, it's safe to say I'll be a freakin' mess when that day comes!

"Every step I take, every move I make

Every single day, every time I pray

I'll be missing you"